Jaxson’s Last Halloween (PHOTOS)

Posted on October 31, 2013 by Seth

Jax spent just about the entire month of October studying a costume catalogue we received in the mail. He’d ask me what certain costumes were. He’d skip some of the scarier ones. And he’d change his mind on his favorite almost daily.

Ghost Face and T-Rex were consistent favorites. But I think ultimately, had it been his choice, he would’ve chosen a super hero costume. Earlier in October, his preschool held a fall/harvest festival. He won a costume in a cake-walk type of game, and chose a Fantastic Four outfit. He wore that ridiculous looking thing everyday. The only time he was able to leave the house with it on was on Halloween day.

As it was the first Halloween with the twins, we wanted to dress as a family in a theme. And since Jax was so awesome, he agreed to our theme if he could also wear his Fantastic Four outfit. We decided on a farm theme, which he got in to, and we figured starting the next year Jax would start wearing the costumes he wanted. We had lots of Halloweens left, right?

Thanks to a dear friend’s frantic hunting, we dressed Jax in an Iron Man costume to be cremated. We added an accessory he would’ve loved, but I can’t remember what it was. I just know it’s what he would’ve wanted. And it kills me that he wasn’t able to be that super hero for Halloween.

On to the pictures. Oh, and Moo made another appearance as a pumpkin.

Gorgeous.

The Fantastic Four costume.

Farmer Jax.

He loved handing out candy, but was wisely cautious.

So happy about his candy.

Pajamas on Halloween night.

This was the first year Jax really got into candy. A few days after Halloween, on a quiet Saturday as the twins napped, I came out of the office to find Jax wasn’t in his room napping anymore. Around this time we had trouble having him nap, and he usually played in his room for 30 minutes before coming out, against our instructions. I walked in the living room and he wasn’t there. I went into the front room and found a trail of blue pixie dust up on to the ottoman, his back to me hunched over, eating the sugar straw.

And that, folks, is what happens when an oppressed kid finds freedom. They become junkies.

Happy Halloween, everyone. Enjoy tonight.

Jaxson’s Third Halloween (PHOTOS)

Posted on October 29, 2013 by Seth

Jax was full of smiles for his third Halloween as he sported his great white shark costume. He was fascinated with sharks and marine life. This was about six months before our trip to the Long Beach Aquarium.

I don’t remember if it was me or my wife, but one of us brilliantly thought to throw some severed fingers in his pumpkin for the night. You know, to add to the costume.

Moo, the stuffed animal cow, was his best friend. Jax wanted him to dress up too, so my wife bought him a pumpkin costume designed for dogs. It fit pretty well. Jax was nervous about trick-or-treating, but having Moo by his side gave him the courage to do it.

I miss that smile.

Dad with the photo bomb.

And of course there’s gore.

Gotta pee?

Moo in his pumpkin outfit.

Happy times.

And Dad’s drinking again.

Disneyland, Blocktober, And the Twins Learn What a Fox Says – How Was Your Weekend?

Posted on October 28, 2013 by Seth

Friday

We went to B.J.’s Restaurant & Brewhouse and my wife guilted me out of ordering a beer. With just a two-second look. Instead, I ordered a Diet Pepsi. When I stroke out, that’ll show her. Then we went to Party City. Which is just about the worst place in the world to go the weekend before Halloween. If you needed a reason to start hating people, go there. I was pushing the twins around in their double-wide stroller, so that didn’t help. Nor did the obstacles the store throws in between aisles. Or the one way only wide alleys packing products on each side. But I suppose plenty of store space wouldn’t have made the other customers less self-centered, pushy, inconsiderate and messy than they already were. Man, I feel old.

Saturday

One benefit of participating in the CHOC Walk as a walker is Disneyland offers greatly discounted tickets for those with wristbands from the event, on the day of the event only. The caveat is you have to use the tickets by the second week of November. We bought Disneyland tickets only, as opposed to the Park Hopper which also allows you into Disney’s California Adventure. Tickets cost just $48, down from the $92 that they retail for. And even though we just went for Mickey’s Halloween Party on Wednesday, we crammed in a day at the Magic Kingdom around my wife’s work schedule. I thought it’d be fun to not tell the kids and just show up. Which we did. But they weren’t as thrilled as I’d hoped.

That’s the reaction I wanted.

It was really crowded. But since we were just there on Wednesday, and already went on the Haunted Mansion/Nightmare Before Christmas twice, we skipped the one-hour-minimum wait. We only hit up Pirates of the Caribbean once. And instead focused our time to some new experiences.

Gray’s obsessed with pirates, but we haven’t hit up the pirate ship at Disneyland yet, so I made that a priority. We climbed aboard the Columbia with his Jack Sparrow hat and sword in tow and set out to pillage, plunder, rifle and loot.

He was beyond thrilled.

Steering.

Blowing stuff up.

Jackpot. Real swords.

Towards the end of the voyage Gray approached a boy, probably about 4-years-old, geared up in a pirate outfit, a drawn-on beard and holding a sword. The boy looked nervous as I did. I totally thought a sword fight would break out. Fortunately the older boy wanted nothing to do with my crazy little swashbuckler.

Once docked we made our way across the Rivers of America on a log raft and boarded Pirate’s Lair at Tom Sawyer Island. I was too busy keeping track of Gray and Ellie as they explored to snap pics (it’s stressful!), so here are some I’ve found online.

Graphic from ocregister.com

From Mouseplanet.com

The kids cruised caves, climbed steps, bounced on bridges and avoided a herd of older kids chasing each other before we came across a motherload of treasure, to Gray’s delight.

Booty.

We probably would’ve spent the rest of the day on the island. Unfortunately, it was closing 45 minutes after we arrived. This is what makes getting a Disneyland Annual Pass tempting. Being able to dress him up, load him with pirate gear and spend three hours pretending to kidnap and ravage and not give a hoot. But then there’s the suffocating trek back to the Pirates of the Caribbean line. And my idea of timeless fun evaporates as I want to stab everyone in the carotid with a pen.

Meanwhile, Ellie spent most of the day either being held or in tears. She seemed tired. But then she’d say her toes hurt, and that she couldn’t walk. And if you looked at her wrong she’d cry. I don’t remember what this tantrum was about, but she was u-p-s-e-t.

The one thing that did make her smile and her forget her worries was the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters ride. On this one, you shoot targets with your blaster while sitting in a moving car. She easily beat Gray both times we rode it. And she was so excited afterwards she chose the blaster as the souvenir to take from the park that day.

Sunday

After a full day at Disneyland we all slept in. Ellie went shopping with my wife and her mom to prep for Halloween week while Gray and I played at home.

At night I took the kids to Saddleback Church’s Blocktober party, which each of the church’s campuses put on for their local communities. In Corona trunk-or-treat cars created an alley for kids to score candy, there were bounce houses, a mechanical bull, food and a dance party area.

No, Ellie wasn’t dressed as a stripper. She’s supposed to be Minnie Mouse. But ya, she looks like a stripper.

One of the songs during the dance party was the oddly popular The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?). If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch the clip below. The whole thing. You need to get caught up on pop culture.

After we left the party I started singing the song, and the kids thought it was funny. Soon, they were giggling after every chorus. So I loaded up YouTube on my phone so they could watch the video. The rest of the night was filled with both of them, in the dark van WAIVING GLOW STICKS, chanting “What Does the Fox Say? ring-ding-ding-ding-ding.” And they were dressed in costumes. I felt like I was transported to an empty spot in the desert that you only find because you stumbled upon a flier while exiting the 91 freeway in Riverside. I just needed some E.

Meanwhile, my wife and her mom beautifully decorated our the house for Halloween. After taking a year off, we’re back to hosting Halloween at our house and in our neighborhood. It’s always a good time. If you’re interested in joining us, hit me up and I’ll give you the details.

How was your weekend?

(T)GIF – Oh HELL No

Posted on October 25, 2013 by Seth

If there’s one thing that universally freaks everyone out, it’s messing with kids. Their innocence, vulnerability and purity is something we don’t want to be fucked with.

Which makes the gif this week just plain CREEPY.

(T)GIF is a regular Friday feature at Smiling Through Tearz. Know of an animated gif that makes you tinkle with laughter, cry or cringe that you think should be featured at STT? Let me know at seth@smilingthroughtearz.com.

Jaxson’s Second Halloween (PHOTOS)

Posted on October 23, 2013 by Seth

I believe this tiger outfit also came from Old Navy, which has become our go-to shopping place for toddler Halloween costumes. I don’t remember why, but we picked a tiger. To my surprise, my wife thought to add some edge to the costume. She bought a couple of stuffed zebras, slit one’s throat for a limp head effect and added a red substance at the neck. Now, Jax had a freshly killed zebra accessory. I was so proud of her.

Jax LOVED stuffed animals. He got to play with the healthy zebra, and the one soaked in blood threw him off.

I wasn’t stuck on the east coast for five weeks during this Halloween. So you can find my fuzzy face in the pics below.

Jax seemed to have this face all night. I don’t think he enjoyed being in the costume.

The HELL DID YOU DO TO MY ZEBRA, MOM?!?

Again, that not-so-happy face.

Family.

Our house.

Showing off the kill.

Trick-or-treating.

We still prohibited candy at this point. So for all he knew this was a bowl of nails.

Cheers.

zzz

Fake Baseball Playoffs, Gettin’ Halloween-y and Daddy Can’t Dress the Kids No Mo – How Was Your Weekend?

Posted on October 21, 2013 by Seth

Friday

Ian and I didn’t leave Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights until 2 a.m. That’s what happens when it takes 2 1/2-hours to get there from Orange, the place is packed with college kids and lines take two hours. After traffic leaving the venue and dropping him off, my head didn’t hit my pillow until 4 a.m. I woke up at 6:30 a.m. And that’s late for me.

So I slugged on at work. Minus the foggy spells, occasional nausea and yawns, I held up okay. I don’t know how my wife and other night workers do this. You craze.

My wife worked so I ordered Papa John’s. My kids get so friggin’ excited anytime a pizza delivery person comes. It’s like it’s their new best friend.

Trying to soak up Halloween time, I thought it’d be fun to show them the Disney animated short film The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. I was obsessed with this as a kid. I made the mistake of laying on the couch to watch it with them. I woke up two-thirds into it after Ellie kicked me in the stomach. Here’s a link to the flick if you haven’t seen. And please, read the comments. Please.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m a big baseball geek. Our Strat-o-Matic league began the playoffs, and since I won my division, I got to play in the Divisional Series. My team, which won 91 games, beat the best team in my league, which won 116, Friday night thanks mainly to Mark Trumbo’s two three-run home runs in Game 4 of the series. His second home run came in the bottom of the 9th with two outs as I was losing 5-4. So yeah, I’m pretty in love with him right now. We are looking to fill some openings in the league, so hit me up if you’re interested.

So, so phalic.

Saturday

The kids wanted to play with blocks. Apparently they went to the Architectural School of Dr. Seuss.

With my wife asleep to prep for night two at the hospital, I needed to get the kids out of the house, so we went to Party City to shop for my Halloween costume. Which they didn’t have. After lunch at Wendy’s (I made Ellie try a french fry dipped in a chocolate frosty. And she liked it. It thought it was bleh.) we tried the local Halloween store. Gray was fickle about going, because he gets scared.

We parked, and both kids wanted me to hold them. I explained I couldn’t, but they didn’t want to go home. As we approached the entrance I picked Gray up, because he was panicking, and held Ellie’s hand. Turn up the volume in this video to sense the fright.

We entered the door and immediately zombies, skeletons and monsters surrounded us. Gray dug his face into my shoulder as I hurried down an aisle of kids costumes. We found the adult section, and again I couldn’t find the costume I was shopping for.

I let them look around a bit, then got them outside to leave. Ellie and I were heading for the car and Gray turned around and wanted to go back in. I told him he was scared and I wasn’t going to carry him, and that if he wanted to go back in he’d have to walk like a big boy. He thought about it for a few seconds and then headed in. Alone.

Watch how Gray just OWNS the store now with his new-found courage.

Gray is fascinated by skeletons playing guitars. And he came across this dandy, although it’s a banjo. And then Ellie broke out in some sort of jig.

With Gray’s fear gone, he went crazy. We searched every aisle, cautiously aware of the zombies, but not freaked out by them like before. He found an ax he fell in love with. Then he planted an Indiana Jones hat on his dome, called it a cowboy hat, and then hacked away at zombies, the floor and innocent store patrons.

Gray was pissed we didn’t take these home with us.

Ellie sassed her away around the store, now uber comfortable as well. She’d yell at me from across the store, prance in a mirror and then threw on this cowboy hat. We spent an hour and 15 minutes in that store. And it took a ton of convincing to get Gray to leave.

Hand on the hips???? ***facepalm***

At dusk we strolled through our neighborhood to find homes decorated for Halloween. It took us down a perpendicular street to two toddlers playing next to one of the more lit-up houses around us. The boy in the Batman shirt was 3 and the girl, Brooklyn, was close to 3. Gray walked up in his Superman shirt already into this. They ran around and played awkwardly, as toddlers do, for thirty minutes. Brooklyn’s mom loaded my kids up with juice boxes, which they rarely ever have, and we walked back home for dinner.

Kids digging our neighbor’s Halloween decorations.

After the kids went to bed my Strat-o-Matic team started the next round of the playoffs, the League Championship Series. I lost the first game 5-4, and the second 4-1. So ya. That Friday night high from Mark Trumbo was fleeting. Oh, and the big jerk got hurt grounding out and is now out the rest of the series. I’m screwed.

Sunday

In another effort to get the hell out of the house and let my wife sleep in silence, I took the kids to Tom’s Farm to check out the pumpkin patch.

“Where’s Tom and his farm?” Gray asked on the drive there.

I thought it’d be fun and easy to throw some wife-beaters on the kids and go. I mean, it’s a frickin’ pumpkin patch in deep Corona, right? My wife thought it was horrible as she scrolled through the photos on my phone later that night.

Ellie getting to work.

“We’re not white trash and we’re not homeless,” she said. I laughed. She didn’t.

Ellie picked up like 10 pumpkins before I banned her.

Getting her coloring on.

Gangsta.

From behind, it’s a mini Jax Teller.

As we left Gray kept asking to see his new friend Brooklyn. Neither kid wanted to go home yet, so I negotiated some play time with their new friends if they were outside playing at their house. As we approached their houses we creeped by like an ominous vehicle in South Central neighborhood in the ’90s. They weren’t out playing so we went home and took a bath, then a nap.

At night we went to church, dropped the kids off at my parents for a sleepover and went on a date. To Lucille’s for dinner, and then home. My wife was exhausted, I was still sluggish from my two hours of sleep early Friday morning and really, just being together without kids is a big enough win for the both of us at this point.

Mickey’s Halloween Party is coming up this Wednesday, along with a trip to the pumpkin patch at Tanaka Farms. Also, keep your eye out for Jax’s second year of Halloween this week.

How was your weekend?

(T)GIF – This One is for Jax

Posted on October 18, 2013 by Seth

As I’ve mentioned, Jax loved Halloween. We received a costume catalogue in the mail and he would study every single page. Every single day. What he wanted to be that last year for Halloween changed daily. But there was one constant admiration of his – Ghost Face from the Scream movies.

I had a Scream game for my iPad, where you play as Ghost Face and stalk characters on different levels and slash the screen with a finger to engage the knife. He begged me to let him watch me play. If it was up to him, his last Halloween he would’ve been Ghost Face. When I said no, he asked how old he had to be. I told him 7. After Halloween that year, I purchased a decorative poster for his door which had a large picture of Ghost Face. I showed it to him, and he was thrilled to tape it up at the next Halloween.

One day while drawing with my wife, he was copying happy faces she drew. She asked him what he wanted to draw now, and he drew Ghost Face. While not exact, when compared to his happy faces, you could see the obvious discrepancies. It was awesome. And finally, while feeding the infant twins milk one night, I let him watch the first fifteen minutes of Scream. He sat on the couch, jaw to the floor, eyes as big as softballs, silent. Then Ghost Face started to chase Drew Barrymore from with his knife and it was time for bed. He asked me to leave the light on in his room for the first time. I wonder why?

So this, my Jax, is for you.