It’s been a while since we’ve celebrated Jaxson’s birthday in this space. But this year is a big one. Our little guy is 18 today. 18! Yay, you can go to jail, vote, rent a VRBO or go to the military. Most of the milestones are boring.

To honor Jax’s 18th birthday, we wanted to do something that he might do today. Or, more likely, what the wife and I make him to today to celebrate him.

Today, if you’d like to join us, we’ll be scratching off lottery tickets as we meet as a family at Red Lobster, one of Jax’s favorite places. Buy a scratcher, join us, and best of luck!

Later this morning we’ll be pulling the kids out of school early, grab some lunch and head out to the Natural History Museum in Los Angeles, as we do every year to celebrate Jax’s birthday.

My wife will be visiting his preschool teacher and providing them goodies as her class sings Happy Birthday and celebrates him. It’s these grounding traditions that mean so much to us.

There is so much imagination that creeps into my head today. What would he look like? What would he be into? Would he still be playing baseball? Is he going to college next year? It’s hard to think about – both to picture and, it just freaking hurts the heart.

So today, as you think of it, grab a scratcher. Watch Cars or Toy Story, maybe go to Red Lobster or put together a dinosaur puzzle. Just think about our boy and help us celebrate him.

Happy Birthday, Jax. My love for you knows no limits. My heart aches beyond comprehension. And my soul longs to be with you again.

Twelve years feels like a liftetime ago. It might as well be 100. Life is so different. I am so different. But not for the better.

Memories fade and we hang onto what we can to remember everything we can about Jax. Video, like the one below, helps. What I wouldn’t give to have him in my arms one more time.

Tonight our family will go watch the Angels battle the Oakland A’s to determine the worst team in the American League. What happens on the field is an afterthought. Instead, we will focus on our missed boy. His love for baseball. His smile. His voice. His kindness and his love. Jax is the star at the stadium tonight for us.

Enjoy the video below and remember our sweet boy with us today.

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CHOC’s Walk in the Park returns July 21. Whether it’s Disneyland or CHOC’s own determination, the cost to qualify as a walker has shot up astronomically over the years, so we’ve scrapped trying to get a full team going.

However, our family continues to walk in Jax’s memory. If you would like to donate to our team as we aim to raise hospital funds in his memory, click here. Click on the dollar sign for the member you want to donate to.

I tried writing a post entitled Why We Support CHOC to explain the importance giving back in Jax’s honor is to us. It started like this:

Jaxson died at 9:26 p.m. at Children’s Hospital of Orange County on June 24, 2012. He wasn’t born a preemie or cured for cancer at the hospital, much like many of the participants for Sunday’s CHOC Walk 2013. For about three hours, the hospital staff did everything they could to save our boy. But it was after he left us that the CHOC staff’s grace, compassion and solace left an overwhelming mark on my wife and I. We lost our boy, but it was if they lost him with us.

The rest of it is deeply intimate and I decided against posting it. I tried to figure out a way to make it less intimate, but to me, it loses the impact. Just know that for us, it’s a very meaningful cause that honors Jax’s very special spirit.

Thank you for remembering our sweet boy today and in July with team Iron Jax.

We love you all.

We’re finally able to share the details the Jax Remembrance. We will be watching Cars 3 on Saturday, June 24 at 10 a.m. at the legendary El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood.  Walt Disney Studios is reserving a bunch of seats for us at this show time. Tickets are $11 per person.

The past three years we’ve been fortunate enough to all gather at Angel Stadium and celebrate our sweet boy. This year, however, the Angels will be in Boston. But Disney (and maybe a higher power than The Mouse) scheduled Cars 3 to release the weekend of June 17, providing us a fantastic alternative to celebrate Jax and things he was passionate about. Which, no doubt, includes Cars.

Also, in the you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up category, Cars 3 features the debut of Jackson Storm, a rookie to the Piston Cup race scene, and beloved Lightning McQueen’s new rival. How cool is that?!?

Jackson Storm

Please let us know by June 8 if you would like tickets.

Note about parking:  El Capitan will partially validate if you park at Hollywood and Highland. Bring your parking ticket with you to get validation, and then parking will cost you just $2 for up to 4 hours. 

Today we unveiled to the kids the sex of Baby Tearz, and now, we share it with you. As you can imagine, Ellie wanted a girl, Gray wanted a boy, but they both really just want a baby, whatever gender it is.

Coming to you July 29, 2016. We’re open to name suggestions.